Fullmetal Alchemist A Week Of Wrath
by AnimeAmy26c
Summary: This is the story of how Wrath got a week work experience at the Military as part of Mustang's team. Enjoy!
1. Monday

**FMA Fanfic - A Week Of Wrath**

**Warning: Contains possible spoilers and occasional use of swearing**

Before you even get into reading this I just want to say that anything that may be considered yaoi is not taken seriously at all. And that some major events haven't taken place, but yet characters will make references to other major events which have been changed slightly. For example Hughes isn't dead (yay!) but he seems to know Envy and that Envy tried to kill him for some reason. Also this is going completely by the first anime so the homunculus Wrath is Wrath of the first series (a.k.a. Izumi's kid she tried to bring back to life).

Also this is completely random and many random references will be made. If you can spot them all (even the blatantly obvious ones) you will win a cookie.

The characters have been severely exaggerated as well. Especially Wrath's childish and immature and downright stupid qualities (before he went all evil and I got sad) and when it gets a bit crazy it's all very exaggerated.

I hope you all like it!

* * *

It was Monday; a new week for Colonel Roy Mustang and his group of trusted subordinates (and Ed). It was now lunchtime and they had all piled into the lunch room.

As usual Roy was bragging, Riza was annoyed at how little work had been done, Fuery was crying at a badly timed Havoc-dog-eating joke, Havoc was making badly timed dog-eating jokes, Breda was wailing about Black Hayate trying to lick his hand, Falman was going over work and Ed was complaining about his height.

"It's not that I'm… you know, but I'm just moderately not as tall as what would be considering normal," Ed explained to himself, "Yeah that's it."

"HI!" a voice shouted at Ed from beneath the table.

"Waah! Holy crap! Wrath?" Ed asked, shocked and confused, "Wha!? Why are you here?"

"Work experience," Wrath replied. (1)

"Work experience?" Ed questioned.

"Yeah, Pride… I mean the Fuhrer Bradley got me it!" Wrath smiled, while drooling inanely.

Ed, still looking very confused, asked "Do you even go to school?"

"Once."

"Once?"

"Is school where the people who are a bit short go and sit and listen to people who think they're smarter than you talk about stuff they know a bit more than average about?" Wrath asked.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORT!!" Ed screamed – in typical Ed rant style.

"No," Wrath whimpered, before starting to cry.

"Fullmetal! Don't upset the creepy child," Roy shouted at Ed whilst pulling Wrath out from under the table.

"Now everyone," Roy announced, standing next to Wrath in front of the others (like a teacher addressing their class), "We have a new member. What is your name?"

"Wrath!" Wrath yelled, waving enthusiastically at everyone.

"Hi Wrath," they all said together, monotonously.

At this the Fuhrer walked in.

"I'm glad to see you're making young Wrath here welcome," the Fuhrer said to them.

"Sir, did you just blink weird?" Wrath asked.

"No, I winked you idiot."

"Oh, I couldn't tell 'cause of the eyepatch," Wrath giggled.

The expression of the Fuhrer's face was an odd mixture of "That kid is a complete moron" and "Seriously, WTF?!". Then he walked out the room.

"I should be very suspicious, but I really don't think any of this shall be explored or that there will be some secret homunculus plot, so screw that," Ed sighed. (2)

"So Wrath, would you like to tell the group anything about yourself?" Roy asked him.

"I like crayons."

"What?" Roy asked, confused.

"Crayons. My Mommy won't let me use pencils because if I put them up my nose they touch my brain and then I pass out and my brain feels colourful. So my Mommy gives me crayons instead," Wrath explained, all the time looking very serious.

"OBJECTION!" Ed shouted, "She's not your mommy!"

"Yeah, well. Your mom!" Wrath yelled at Ed.

"She is, but not really!" Ed shouted back.

"Your face!" Wrath yelled again.

"Ooh, burn," Roy and Havoc piped in, which was followed by a particularly childish high-five.

After ten minutes of a ridiculous back-and-forth between Wrath and Ed, Roy made everyone sit and eat lunch as the sooner he could go and "work" (meaning sleep) the better.

"Do you have any crayons, Edward?" Wrath asked, as he peered disappointedly into his lunch box.

"No… Why?"

"I'm hungry," Wrath said, as his stomach growled.

"You eat crayons?" Ed asked, shuffling away slightly.

"Don't knock it till you try it!" Wrath grinned and punched Ed lightly on the arm.

"Someone wanna trade seats?" Ed asked desperately.

"Ooh! Shiny!" Wrath said lunging at Roy's pocketwatch, "Gimme gimme!"

"Get… get off me!" Roy screeched running away with Wrath clinging to his leg.

"Lol," Ed snickered.

"What's going on?" Fuery whimpered.

Black Hayate trotted into the room and ran to Fuery, who immediately cheered up.

"Hi, buddy!" Fuery said, making a big fuss over him.

At this Breda leapt onto the table and started crying like a baby.

Wrath spun round and gaped at Black Hayate.

"DOGGIE!" Wrath screamed and took off a full speed towards them.

Fuery made the quick decision to try and save Black Hayate by scooping him up – as best he could - and trying to pass him to Breda on the table.

"Breda, save him!" Fuery cried.

And Breda passed out and fell off the table.

"I loves doggies," Wrath yelled, as he grabbed Black Hayate and started to pet him, "Omg, windows!"

At that Wrath ran at the window and started to lick it. (3)

Everyone sat still and silent now, except for Breda who was passed out on the floor.

"Strange, isn't he?" Riza broke the silence.

"Omigosh! Sparkly!" Wrath lunged at the window.

The others winced as he slammed into it.

"Ok, everyone back to work," Roy said, clapping his hands together and appearing blissfully ignorant of Wrath's actions, "Ed you will be patrolling with Wrath."

"Why?" Ed whined.

"Face it if I put him with Riza she'll shoot him, Havoc will disturb him more than he already is, he'll push Fuery into the mentally unstable zone, Breda is passed out and Falman's a workaholic who would suck at caring for kids," Roy replied.

"And you?"

"That kid freaks me out," Roy said, eyeing Wrath suspiciously as he started rolling around the floor drooling.

With that Roy motioned everyone else out the cafeteria.

"Good luck," Roy yelled as he closed the door over.

"I found a crayon over here!" Wrath screeched, ecstatic.

"Just shoot me," Ed sighed.

"Where we going?" Wrath questioned as he skipped alongside Ed.

"We're patrolling. So we're not really going anywhere," Ed replied thoroughly fed-up with Wrath's questioning.

"Why?"

"Because."

"But why?" Wrath wailed.

"Just because."

"I want candy," Wrath cried.

"If you are good I'll buy you a crayon," Ed sighed to try and make him shut up.

"Can I choose the colour? Because I want a green one because when they touch my brain they make me feel green and happy," Wrath smiled.

"Seriously?" Ed remarked, giving him the "Are you really that stupid look?".

"Are we brothers?" Wrath asked Ed as they walked along.

Ed stopped dead.

"WHAT?!?"

"We have the same mother," Wrath said seriously.

"No Wrath, that's wrong. You have deluded yourself into believing the homunculus Sloth, who is based on my mother, is your mother because you have an abandoned child complex because of being trapped at the gate since you were a baby and upon getting out you grew up alone and are now looking for something to make up for your lost childhood and the first thing you needed was a mother figure," Ed replied, heartlessly. (4)

He turned towards Wrath who he sort of expected to be crying, but was instead chewing on a windowsill.

"Huh?" Wrath said between chewing the windowsill and spitting wood chippings.

"Nevermind," Ed sighed.

"So am I your favouritest little brother?" Wrath asked him, cutely.

"Were you listening to me?! Stop chewing the windowsill!!"

"I loves my brother Edward!" Wrath yelled launching himself at Ed and hugging him.

"It's gonna be long day," Ed growled.

They continued on… with Wrath clinging to Ed's automail arm.

"It's so shiny!" Wrath said, wide eyed.

Suddenly at the end of the corridor Ed spotted Roy and his group wondering aimlessly around the halls.

"Ah, crap!" Roy yelled, "Run! Run! Run!"

The group ran off.

"Let's play hide-and-seek Wrath," Ed said to Wrath, "You run and find them and I'll wait here till you bring them back, ok?"

"Ok! Anything for you, my beloved brother!" Wrath yelled, delightedly.

"Ok, off you go now," Ed replied, then muttered under his breath, "You deluded freak."

_Need a place to hide. Need a place to hide!_ Ed thought desperately as he searched madly through the corridors.

Until he ran into the Fuhrer.

"So where is little Wrath?" he asked looking around, "You haven't lost him, have you?"

"Um, no. He's probably licking a window somewhere," Ed said, shifty-eyed.

"Yes, he's… odd," Bradley concluded, before saying, "Well, carry on."

"Yes, sir, Fuhrer, person," Ed rambled as his eyes darted madly.

He then took off down the hall before seeing Roy's office.

_I can hide in there!_ Ed grinned.

He ran into the office and slammed the door, sending piles of paperwork scattering across the floor.

"Shit. Colonel's gonna kill me!" Ed said aloud.

"Damn right he is!" Roy shouted popping up from behind the desk, nearly giving Ed a heart attack.

"I can hear him!" Fuery wailed.

And sure enough when they listened they could hear Wrath approaching down the corridor singing something about him and his best friend and brother, Ed.

"He's deluded."

"He's insane."

"He's right outside the office."

Everyone was now cowering under the desk (it's a bit like the TARDIS of the desk world) except for Breda who they had stuffed in a filing cabinet because Black Hayate tried to lick his hand and had passed out.

"Colonel can he breathe in there?" Falman asked, concerned.

"I think so. I mean he's not made any noise to say he can't," Roy replied.

Riza did a facepalm.

"Is Breda dead?" Fuery cried.

"Maybe," Ed shrugged.

"I hear voices from in there!" Wrath yelled as he threw the door open.

"Look what you caused, Fuery!" Roy whispered, whilst slapping the back of Fuery's head.

"HI!" Wrath shouted as his head appeared upside down and watched them all under the desk.

"Oh, hi Wrath," Ed said, trying to look happy, "You win."

"Well, I lose*," Roy sighed. (5)

* * *

Thanks for reading through the first chapter!

I hope you liked it!

Notes:

(1) Apparently work experience exists in Amestris now (lol this was probably influenced by the fact I have work experience soon)

(2) Yes, I did mention it, but I really cannot be bothered with some serious plotline, just enjoy the randomness!

(3) I did warn you that it would be extremely random and that Wrath would be insane, right?

(4) This is my best attempt at explaining Wrath's situation, sorry if I got it a bit wrong and also Ed seems really heartless, to me, when he says it.

(5) I apologise to all who may have lost **the game**.

Thanks for reading.

Bye~!

Amy.


	2. Tuesday

Please enjoy the next chapter! It can only get better. Or worse. Depending how you look at it! :D

If you've not read the previous chapter I would recommend you do so as, although there's not much plot, it does carry on a little.

And again if you spot all the random references you win a cookie!

* * *

It was Tuesday just before lunch.

Wrath had been there was just under 24 hours and no-one was particularly sane anymore, except Riza.

The office was a state. Fuery was crying in the corner hugging Black Hayate whilst rocking back and forth. Havoc was hiding in a den of pillows – who knows where he found them. Breda was on top of the filing cabinets repeating "The dogs are coming!". Falman was signing the walls like paperwork.

And Roy was lying on his office floor staring at the ceiling.

"What **are** you doing, sir?" Riza asked, as she entered the room and looked down at Roy.

"Wrath told me to watch clouds sometime but I thought I'd rather watch the ceiling instead. It has patterns. Can you see the chibi Edward being mawled by a Palmtop Tiger that is the same size as him over there?" Roy said pointing at a collection of swirls that vaguely resembled an Ed.

"And there's a Fuery being chased by a deadly mutant bear. See that bear run, Riza. See him?" Roy yelled, flailing his arms wildly.

Riza merely stepped over him and sat at the desk.

The door knocked.

"Come in," Roy yelled, rolling around the floor.

Alphonse walked in, his armour clinked and he clipped the door.

"Have you seen Edward?" he asked, concerned, "He forgot his lunch."

Al gazed around the room feeling very weirded out and slightly disturbed.

"He's with Wrath at the moment, but if you want to leave a message just say it after the bleep. BLEEP!" Roy replied.

"He's in the lunch room," Riza replied after Roy's outburst.

Al left thoroughly worried about Ed's safety and sanity.

As he walked into the lunch room where Wrath was, once again, clinging to Ed.

"Alphonse! Help me!" Ed screamed.

Al ran to Ed's rescue, but was stopped by Wrath.

"I'm his favourite brother now!" Wrath announced.

Al looked extremely shocked and really confused. Ed looked just as confused and almost like he was going to cry.

"What?!" Al asked, edging on tears.

"I am Ed's new favourite brother. You can go home now Al. We're going to do the travelling around being angsty thing now," Wrath smiled.

"But that's what we do!" Al cried.

"Al I don't know what he's talking about!" Ed wailed, "We're not even related!"

"We're not related!" Al blubbered.

"No! Wrath is not my brother!"

"So you don't have any brothers?"

"I give up!" Ed yelled, throwing his arms in the air and storming out the door.

"Are you my brother?" Wrath asked Alphonse.

"I dunno. Maybe."

"Yay!" Wrath exclaimed, "I want a piggy back!"

"I guess I could give you a piggy back," Al replied.

Instead Wrath sat on Al's shoulder's and commanded him to carry him to the Colonel's office.

So Al started running and forgetting that Wrath's head was well above door height Wrath was not only knocked off Al's shoulders, but he was knocked out.

"Help!" Al shouted, "I think I may have accidently killed Wrath."

"I'm fine!" Wrath shouted, suddenly awakening and leaping up at Al, giving him a thumbs up.

"Well, that's good," Al replied, staring at a massive concussion on Wrath's head, "You sure you are ok? You have a big bump on your head."

"I feel fine. I just want to lick that window over there a bit more than usual."

"That's great, Wrath," Al said, eying him cautiously.

"You should do it sometime."

"Wrath, I'm a suit of armour. I have no tongue," Al replied.

"Really? Awesome!" Wrath yelled.

Al stood in silence.

Wrath watched wide-eyed.

"Are you a magician?" Wrath yelled, amazed.

"No, Wrath. Alchemist. Like you," Al sighed.

"Imma alchemist?!" Wrath screeched, in absolute awe.

Al sighed again.

Wrath then leapt at Al's head and stole it.

"Wrath, give me my head back!" Al screamed.

Wrath laughed maniacally and ran off down the corridors.

"WRATH! If you don't stop you'll feel my Wrath," Al yelled, stumbling blindly after him.

He then stopped dead.

"I made a pun," Al giggled, then ran after him.

Upon stumbling to Mustang's office, which is where he assumed Wrath would go, Al opened the door and fell in.

"Omigosh! He's got nothing inside his armour!" Fuery screamed in horror.

Riza, for once not opting for the gun, slapped Fuery, "You knew he didn't a have a body in there!"

"Oh. Oh, yeah," Fuery giggled.

"Where's Wrath?!" Al yelled desperately as he got back to his feet.

Just then Ed appeared at the door.

"ALPHONSE! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR ARMOUR!" Ed shouted furiously as he tackled Al.

"Wrath stole my head," Al cried.

"I noticed. He's out in the courtyard chasing Havoc and Breda with a gun and wearing your helmet shouting 'Imma armour!'" Ed replied snidely.

"Not my fault and where the bleep did he get a gun?," Al muttered, as he left the room.

"Riza, where's Roy, I have expenses stuff for him to see," Ed sighed.

"He's sewing miniskirts in the laundry room," Riza sighed back.

"So he's going ahead with that. Is he making one for you?" Ed said, grinning inanely.

"No," Riza said sharply, "You."

"I'm getting outta here!" Ed screamed running away.

"I see you Edward! Come here!" came Roy's voice in the distance.

"Noooooooooooo!" Ed screamed, also in the distance.

Epic no moment.

Cut to Al in courtyard.

"Wrath! Gimme my head!" Al yelled at Wrath who was now pretending to be a cowboy, but was still wearing Al's head.

"Sorry, brother, I can't do that!" Wrath replied.

"Don't say 'brother' that's mine!" Al shouted jealously.

Wrath stuck in tongue out and galloped away shouting "Giddy up!" and shooting his gun in the air.

"Quick Breda run while he's distracted!" Havoc shouted and with that he and Breda pushed past Alphonse and into the buildings.

"I won't catch him," Al sighed.

"Maybe I could make a papier mache head to replace it," Al muttered, then suddenly happy again, "I could paint kitties on in!"

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter too!

I don't have as much to say about this one as I did for the other one, so sorry.

Well, I guess that's it for this chapter.

Bye~!

Amy.


	3. Wednesday

Firstly if you haven't read the previous chapters it would be best to do that now.

I hope you all enjoy it! And please tell me what you think of it.

If you spot all the random references from this and the other chapters you can have a cookie!

Thanks to everyone who has read it so far and enjoy!

* * *

Wednesday morning.

Day 3 of Wrath exposure.

Roy sat has desk in the office and was muttering at someone down the phone. Ed walked in and sat down on the sofa.

"Riza has phoned in sick!" Roy wailed in tears as he hung up, "Riza's never sick! I miss Riza!"

Roy flopped into the corner of the office and started to cry.

Ed grinned ridiculously and walked towards Roy.

"You love Riza, don't you, Colonel?" Ed grinned.

"I may be distraught, Fullmetal, but don't doubt for one second I wouldn't set you on fire right now," Roy turned to Ed sliding his gloves on.

"I have business over there," Ed said, slowly backing away.

The strange thing was the office was empty apart from the two of them.

No Fuery or Falman or Breda or Havoc. Not even Black Hayate.

"Where is everyone?" Roy sighed, "I'm bored. And Wednesday is Fuery dress-up-day. Wrath suggested it. He said he's bring a maid outfit." (1)

"I think they're all just coming."

Roy was so busy sighing about Riza that he didn't notice Ed slip out of the room and Wrath being shoved in with a note written in crayon and duct-taped to his forehead.

"What the fu…?" Roy was about to swear, but upon remembering how impressionable Wrath, but managed to prevent himself.

"To Colonel. I am Wrath. Please look after me. I like crayons. Signed 'The Gang'"

"Dammit!" Roy shouted, after reading the note.

"I loves you Colonel," Wrath said, once again launching himself at Roy.

"No," Roy said, pushing him away, "You should fear me. I am Colonel Roy Mustang. Flame Alchemist. I am very scary."

"Can I call you Colonel Feary?" Wrath cried.

"Yes," Roy said, glad to be feared and repected.

"Feary sounds like fairy," Wrath grinned. (2)

"What?" Roy asked, and the smug grin he had acquired faded away.

"You're a fairy!" Wrath screeched, ecstatically.

"No! No I am not! I am scary!" Roy shouted, angrily.

"You should wear a fairy costume!" Wrath shouted back.

Wrath grabbed a scrap of paper and a crayon and scrawled a transmutation circle. (3)

"What are you doing?" Roy asked worriedly.

"Fairy!" Wrath said approaching Roy with his paper slip grinning and drooling.

"Get away you freaky child!" Roy shrieked.

That afternoon.

The group eventually returned from their day out and entered the office to be greeted by…

Roy in a fairy outfit hanging from the ceiling.

"Help!" Roy wailed.

They stood in silence for a second waiting for someone to say something.

It was Fuery, "Can we put him on a Christmas tree? He looks like a Christmas angel!"

Ed burst out laughing so hard he started crying.

"I'm gonna pee my pants!" Havoc shouted rolling around laughing.

"I'm gonna pop a lung!" Breda laughed.

"Ow, my ribs hurt!" Falman giggled insanely.

"Sure, Fuery. Why not?" Ed answered Fuery.

"Yay!" Fuery smiled.

"No, you have to get me down before he gets back!" Roy shouted, trying to desperately wiggle free.

"You know what you remind me of, Colonel?" Ed asked, slyly.

"No, what?" Roy asked back.

"A piñata," Ed grinned evilly.

"Yeah, he does," Havoc smiled.

"I suppose so," Fuery smirked.

"We agree," Breda and Falman said together.

With this Wrath appeared behind them with a large piñata stick.

"Oh, dear lord!!" Roy shrieked.

That afternoon while sitting at home Riza could have sworn she had heard a lot of screaming coming from Central Headquarters.

* * *

Notes:

(1) This is the result of too much time with a good friend of mine who has a slight obsession with maid outfits. She know who she is...

(2) Again caused by my friend who had said somehting about fairies whilst this was being written.

(3) I don't think Wrath needs transmutation circles because he was at the Gate, but meh in this he does.

Also, poor Roy. I feel so sorry for him and I know what's about to happen in the next chapters.

Bye~!

Amy.


	4. Thursday

Hi, thanks to everyone who has read this far.

I owe you all a cookie, but no muffins. Muffins are rare and I has none.

Anyway away from my random outsurst, I hope you're all enjoying this so far. I can only say it will probably get more and more random from here on in.

Some references are really random and some are very obvious. If you can see them all you can have a cookie.

Enjoy

* * *

Thursday morning.

Wrath exposure = 4 days.

"Sir, I was feeling better so I came in today," Riza said, as she entered Roy's office.

Her mouth dropped as soon as she saw Roy sitting at his desk.

He was bruised and looked pretty badly beaten up. There were bags under his eyes indicating lack of sleep.

"Sir, did you and Hughes get drunk and get into another bar brawl?" Riza lectured, "Last time you two were so drunk you thought that you were Mario and Luigi and that you were fighting Link and Sonic when actually it was two pro boxers." (1)

"Are they out there?" Roy whimpered.

"Who's out there?" Riza asked, cynically.

"The crazy blonde, the creepy cutesy child, the glasses one, the quiet one, the smart one and the other ones?" Roy whimpered again.

"Sir, you're worrying me. That sounded a bit like describing the main characters in Ouran," Riza answered him. (2)

She looked down at the floor and saw a fairy costume.

"What the Hell, sir?"

"Holy crap! Get it away!" Roy turned into a shivering wreck who was crying like a baby.

"Sir, what's with the Christmas tree?"

Roy crawled into the corner and was now curled up in a pool of tears.

Fuery casually walked into the room.

"Get away! Get away!" Roy recoiled in horror as he spotted Fuery.

"Sir, it's just Fuery," Riza explained to Roy and then turned to Fuery, "What the Hell happened here yesterday?"

Fuery tried to remain silent, but with Riza's death glare he broke under the pressure and explained all to her.

"And instead of candy there was lots and lots of blood," Fuery concluded. (3)

"And you went along with this?" Riza asked.

"I just went with the flow. Wrath has had that influence on us now. We don't care about rules. Yesterday I smashed a window and laughed. I'm living on the edge, Riza. And I'm not going back!" Fuery explained.

"Did you just address me as 'Riza'?" she growled.

"You're in trouble now!" Roy sobbed this instead of his usual mocking cockiness.

"Yes, and I don't care!" Fuery yelled laughing maniacally and running from the room.

Riza sighed.

"At least tomorrow is Wrath's last day and things can return to normal. And they'll fear me again!" Riza laughed crazily. (4)

Roy cried some more.

Riza went over towards him looking like she was going to give him a hug, but instead she walked straight past to the window.

Outside Wrath was playing football/soccer with the rest of Mustang's gang and Ed.

"I can't believe. Four days with that creepy child and they all go insane. Sir, I'm glad you haven't lost it," Riza said, turning to Roy, who was still sobbing in the corner, "Spoke too soon."

"Do you want to go home?" Riza asked him, kindly.

"They'll find me there, that's where they'll look," Roy cried.

"Sir, they're coming inside," Riza said to him, as she saw them re-entering the building.

"RIZA, SAVE ME!!" Roy sobbed, leaping at Riza and grabbing her leg.

They didn't have much time as the gang walked swiftly to Roy's office.

"Hi Uncle Fairy!" Wrath announced, walking into the room and addressing Roy.

"I like that nickname," Ed grinned darkly, "But I'll stick to Colonel Fairy. And I'm gonna get the pictures Hughes took of you in the fairy outfit from him this morning. They'll be in the Fuhrer's office by this afternoon and all over central by this evening."

"Ed you are eviller than I thought," Wrath turned to him, slightly shocked, "You remind me of someone."

"Like Envy?" Ed replied evilly.

"Exactly like him!" Wrath exclaimed, "I am a genius. I knew it! You all owe Wrath a cookie."

"Sorry, I'm late!" a voice announced from behind the group, who were clustered at the office door.

It was Ed - cue dramatic music.

"Al make eggy bread for me and then I ate and when I realized it had milk in it I got a bit angry," Ed continued, still unaware of what was going on.

"Omigosh! Twist!" Wrath shrieked.

"Then that means…" everyone turned together to the Ed who was there first.

"Fools!" Envy shouted returning to his usual form.

Then at the door behind Ed Hughes appeared.

"Envy! You bastard!" Hughes exclaimed. (5)

"Holy crap! 'Nother twist!" Wrath shrieked, only to be punch by Envy on the back of the head.

"Dude, you owe me!" Hughes shouted at Envy.

"I'm outta here!" Envy cried running and jumping out the window.

"How am I gonna get my money back now?" Hughes asked, confused.

"I thought you were gonna challenge him about trying to kill you that time," Roy said to Hughes.

"He knows this is the third floor, right?" Riza asked, as they all just stood.

"Is Envy dead?" Wrath asked innocently.

"Probably. I should care. He's my half brother," Ed sighed.

"Do you care?" Wrath asked.

"Nope. He did try to kill me," Ed replied.

"Oh, ok," everyone agreed.

"So it was Envy who was mean to Roy and asked for the photos to spread over central to humiliate him not you, Ed?" Hughes asked.

"No, that was me," Ed admitted.

"Fair enough," Hughes replied, handing him the pictures.

Ed grinned cruelly and slipped the pictures in his pocket.

"It's a conspiracy!" Roy screeched and then followed in Envy's tracks by jumping out the window.

"Did someone hear a loud crunching?" Fuery squeaked.

"He'll be fine," Hughes replied.

Ed looked at him and gave Hughes the "you must be kidding" look.

"Should we do something?" Havoc asked.

"I don't want to see the Colonel's mangled corpse smashed all around the courtyard. I'm scarred enough already, thanks," Ed replied.

"I have a very fragile mind," Fuery answered.

Breda, Falman, Riza and Hughes just looked at each other.

"Will there be candy around the courtyard?" Wrath asked, excitedly and still believing Roy to be a piñata.

"No, Wrath. There will not be candy," Ed answered.

"Oh, well then I'll stay here," Wrath sighed.

"Colonel, you will be missed" Ed sighed, saluting at the window.

Soon the whole room joined him in a silent salute at the window.

* * *

Ok, I feel really bad for Roy at the end, but he'll be fine. I think.

Notes:

(1) This is a very obvious reference, it's Super Smash Bros. Brawl because I love that game.

(2) Again this reference is so obvious. It actually has the name of the actual thing in it.

(3) What a wonderful description from Fuery XD

(4) This is probably a sign that Riza isn't quite normal either, but meh.

(5) So Hughes appears to know Envy. I don't know how or why, but again meh.

Thanks for reading,

Bye~!

Amy.


	5. Friday

Once again, thanks to everyone who has read this far.

I hope you enjoy it and anyone who spots all the references can have a cyber cookie.

Please enjoy.

* * *

Friday morning.

Final day of Wrath.

Ed casually walked into the office in the morning, closely followed by Wrath who had been stalking him since Monday, believing Ed to be his brother.

"Where's Roy? I got a delivery of an annoying little pain-in-the-ass," Ed announced to the office which was, for the first time this week, actually working.

"That's me! That's me!" Wrath shouted, jumping up and down.

"Didn't he die yesterday?" Havoc asked, puffing on a cigarette.

The door suddenly blew wide open and slammed into the wall.

"Holy crap! A ghost!" Wrath and Fuery shrieked.

It was Roy. He was standing at the door covered in bruises and he had a cast on one leg and had a bandage round his head.

"I am not dead," Roy growled.

"So we see," Ed replied snidely.

"You all might be by the end of the day," Roy scowled, before hobbling along to his desk.

"Sir, are you ok?" Riza asked.

"None of you asked me that yesterday!" Roy shouted.

"Because we thought you were dead," Ed replied.

"And that makes it better how?" Roy grumbled, furiously.

"Well, if you were dead and there was blood everywhere Wrath would play in because he thinks you're made out of candy. Hence the reason he's chewing on your foot now," Ed explained, whilst Wrath was, sure enough, chewing on Roy's non-bandaged foot.

Roy leapt to his feet, "Waah! Get off me! Get away!"

He stumbled backwards and out of the still broken window.

"Well, he couldn't have survived it that time. He had Wrath clinging onto his leg, therefore pulling him down with more force," Ed said, turning to everyone.

"Dammit!" Breda shouted holding a pane of glass in one hand, "I knew I was meant to fix a window somewhere."

Hughes entered.

"You guys know Roy is lying outside on the ground, right? Did you just leave him after he jumped out of the window?" Hughes asked. (1)

"Yes and no," Havoc explained, "Yes we know he's lying on the ground. Yes, we just left him lying on the ground yesterday, but he managed to somehow get to a hospital and had his leg and head bandaged. And no he didn't jump out the window this time. He fell because no one had fixed it," Havoc stood to explain, still smoking his cigarette.

"My bad!" Breda piped in.

"Oh, ok," Hughes accepted their reply as if this was normal and carried on regardless, "Have you seen my cute daughter lately?"

"Yes, Hughes," they all answered.

"Oh. Oh, I see," Hughes said, his head tilted towards the ground like he was going to cry.

"I haven't!" Wrath yelled, running down the hall back to the office.

"Wrath?" Ed asked, shocked and confused, "How'd you get there? And is Roy alive?"

"I think that's my name. Magic. And no, he's dead," Wrath explained. (2)

"But Wrath you can't tell the difference between sleeping and dead though, can you?" Ed asked him.

"No," Wrath admitted.

"Any signs of life?" Riza asked.

"Is a sign of life include crying and saying 'My other leg is broken'?" Wrath asked back.

"I would think so," Riza replied.

"Then yes. Yes, he is not dead," Wrath finally answered.

"That's good," Ed sighed, slumped into a chair.

"I'll go check on him," Hughes said and walked out the room.

"Will Uncle Fairy be ok?" Wrath asked them, teary-eyed.

"He'll be fine," Ed replied looking almost indifferent.

The rest of the day was painstakingly slow paced.

Wrath spent the day chewing on a crayon and every now and then he'd cry that he'd miss them when he finished work experience. The others tried to comfort him but would all happy to see him go.

When Roy returned just before lunch in a wheelchair, being pushed around by Hughes, he was not particularly happy. To let everyone know just how not particularly happy he was he set little fires around headquarters.

But after he thought they'd had enough - which came after they tried to use Ed's coat to put out a fire and he beat them up - he stopped - well he laughed for a while then stopped.

For another while, Roy and Hughes travelled the halls. Hughes would find an appropriately long corridor and push Roy along it. Roy would then try to stop before slamming into the wall at the other end. It made for an interesting game to try and bet if Roy would stop in time and much money was bet and lost from both of them.

"Look there's Ed along there!" Roy rejoiced at Hughes, "Push me, I wanna see if he'll get out the way in time!"

"He's pretty fast, I think he'll make it. I put 10 bucks on him getting out the way," Hughes replied.

"Fifty?" Roy asked cockily.

"Deal," Hughes shook Roy's hand.

"Go, go, go!" Roy yelled as he sped along the corridor at Ed.

Ed carried on walking blissfully unaware of the impending injuries he would sustain.

"No one is safe from Colonel Roy Mustang, the Rolling-Really-Quickly/Flame Alchemist!" Roy shouted just seconds before slamming into Ed.

Ed screamed in pain grasping his leg where he had gotten the worst of Roy's impact.

"WHAT THE HELL'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!" Ed roared.

Roy ignored him and instead yelled back to Hughes, "Fifty bucks! I am eating good tonight!"

"WERE YOU LISTENING?!" Ed roared again.

"Nope. And you lost Hughes a bet," Roy grinned.

"EDWARD!" Hughes yelled as he ran down the corridor at Ed.

"He can't afford that new camera now," Roy smirked.

At that Hughes glomped Ed and then after knocking him to the ground simply got up and walked away.

"Ooh, burn," Roy sniggered.

As lunch came around Roy ordered Ed to push him outside for a while. Ed joked about would Roy like to go out the door or window and Roy set Ed's flick on fire.

"You know how heavy you are?" Ed complained, as he pushed the wheelchair with all his might.

"I wouldn't want to see that flick get scorched again," Roy replied, then turning to Ed, "I'd like to hear the smart-ass reply to that, Edward."

"I bet you've got one," Ed muttered.

"Can I stop pushing you around yet?" Ed sighed out-of-breath.

"No, I want shade and a nice view and to be as far away from the office and that demon-child as possible," Roy ordered.

"But I'm right here… Oh, you mean Wrath."

Roy looked at Ed with the look of sheer disdain.

"Idiot," Roy mumbled.

Having arrived at what Roy deemed suitable Ed collapsed onto the ground.

"Get up. You are a State Alchemist, a military official. Stop slacking off!" Roy shouted at Ed.

"Hypocrite," Ed muttered and he stood up again, his legs ached.

"Yes, I probably am. But what are you gonna do?" Roy replied snidely.

"You haven't got your gloves," Ed grinned, "I can do what I like."

"I do have my gloves they're in my pocket!" Roy shouted at him, searching desperately through his pockets.

"I took them while you weren't looking!" Ed laughed.

Ed put his hand into his pocket expecting to find Roy's gloves so he could wave them and gloat, but his pockets were, like Roy's, empty.

"Hey guys!" Wrath screeched, sprinting across the courtyard, "Imma magician!"

"Is he wearing gloves?" Roy asked.

Suddenly it clicked.

"Run! RUN!" Roy screeched as he spun the chair and started to roll as fast as he could across the courtyard and away from Wrath.

"He's catching up!" Ed yelled as he caught up with Roy.

"Look!" Wrath yelled, "I'm Uncle Fairy!"

With that Wrath snapped his fingers and there was a massive explosion in the courtyard.

Riza turned and looked away out the window.

"Just get on with it and pretend you didn't see or hear that," Riza said to herself and the empty office, returning to her desk, "Just pretend it didn't happen."

* * *

Thanks for reading it all, even though it's mostly nonsense.

I just thought I'd say, I wrote this instead of a discursive essay for English which is long overdue so I hope you like it.

Notes:

(1) If you've read the other chapters you'll probably have noticed everything happens pretty quickly so that is why Hughes noticed jsut moments after Roy's fall.

(2) When Wrath says magic he means alchemy, see the Tuesday chapter... I think.

That's all for now,

Bye~!

Amy.


	6. A New Week Final Chapter

This is the last chapter of this fanfic. I hope everyone who has read it from the start has enjoyed it. I certainly enjoyed making it. I chose to =write this instead of prelim studying, but I still did pretty well! Yayness! Yayness for Prelim win (I thought it would be Prelim fail XD) and yayness fro finally uploading all this fanfic.

Anyway, if you have read it all and spotted all the random references please leave a review or something to tell me. If you see them all a cyber cookie is on it's way to you.

And thanks to two of my friends who read all the fanfic for their opinion before I uploaded it. And thanks to my friend who inspried a lot of this! You know who you are!

So I hope you enjoy!

* * *

The next Monday.

Roy's office.

The office was quiet for a change. It hadn't been quiet for nearly a week.

Riza sighed in relief. She would have the place up to speed again within a few days. She would need to be tougher for a while to not let standards slip, the office was already infamously lazy and their adventures around Central and in Eastern headquarters were well known throughout the Military.

"Fuery, I trust that you'll be acting appropriately for a work environment," Riza said, glaring at him as he walked into the office his hanging his head in shame.

"Of course, Lt. Hawkeye," Fuery replied, still facing the ground.

"That's what I like to hear," she smiled sincerely, "And Lt. Havoc, I trust that you are willing to go back to the usual routine."

"Yes, Hawkeye."

"Look, it's Breda and Falman too. I hope you are both going to return to normal again now," Riza said smiling at them.

"'Course," Breda muttered, like Fuery, he too was looking down at the ground.

"Of course, Lt. Hawkeye. I am looking forward to returning back to our usual routine here at the office," Falman said, saluting Riza.

"Falman, you need to loosen up, but your formal resonse is appreciated," Riza sighed.

Ed walked in relatively unnoticed and collapsed onto the couch and fell asleep. He was a bit bruised and dented after being in the explosion caused by Wrath and he was missing one automail arm.

"Odd," Riza sighed as she glimpsed Ed's entrance.

"Everyone salute your brave and, dare I say it, handsome leader, Colonel Roy Mustang!" Hughes announced dramatically as he swung the door open and pushed Roy in.

"You're right Hughes, you did help me make an entrance, but maybe next time make it seem like we're not a couple," Roy growled.

"I was just saying it in order to get Hawkeye's attention. We all know you li…" Hughes' whispering was cut short by a punch to the gut by Roy.

"Don't you have work to do?" Roy growled again.

"You would think, but I got a few weeks off to help look after my dear friend, and if anyone asks, my brother, Roy," Hughes replied as he winced from Roy's punch.

"Brother?!" Roy exclaimed.

"Dammit, that's mine!" Alphonse screamed from somewhere in the distance.

"Yeah, brother. They wouldn't give me time off unless we're related," Hughes sighed.

"But we don't have the same last name!" Roy replied, "Do you think about anything you do?"

"For a few seconds then I give up and yes we do have the same surname. I managed to change your files so your name is now Roy E. Hughes," Hughes smirked.

"What's the 'E' stand for?" Roy asked cautiously.

"Elysia. I couldn't think of anything else and it's a cute name," Hughes sighed and not daring to look Roy in the eye.

And with that the office uproared in laughter.

"You ok there **ELYSIA**?" Havoc emphasized.

The others laughed.

"SHUT UP!" Roy roared.

The office went quiet.

"AND YOU LEAVE, NOW!" he roared at Hughes.

"I'll wait outside just in case you need me, brother dearest," Hughes replied, shutting the door behind him.

Roy looked back at the others and drew daggers at them all.

"It's good to have everything back to normal, Sir," Riza said to him.

"Yes, Riza, yes it is," Roy replied, and then a rather sinister grin spread across his face, "And revenge is always fun."

He glared evilly before rolling to his desk.

Then the Fuhrer burst through the door waking Ed.

The whole office rose to their feet upon his entrance.

"Mustang, Elric, I heard of your unfortunate accident on Friday with the explosion and what-not," Bradley said, "So I'm going to give you a long vacation. In Risembol."

"Bu… but Winry! She'll notice my lack of automail arm after Wrath blew it up!" Ed cried, "She'll kill me! I'd rather be exploded again than come face-to-face with her and the wrench."

Ed shuddered at the thought of 'the wrench' and then collapsed.

"While you are away, Lt. Hawkeye will be in charge," Bradley continued regardless and turned to Roy, "And to fill in the two positions of you and Edward, I have some replacements to cover for you both."

Bradley opened the door over to show Wrath standing in the doorway, waving enthusiastically.

"Wrath and En…" Bradley stopped as he turned to see that Envy was not there too.

"Where's my money?" Hughes yelled as he sat over Envy, who looked dizzy and battered, repeatedly punching him.

"What money?"

"You know what money!" Hughes shouted, still punching him.

"Well, goodbye everyone," Roy smiled, "I'm off to Risembol for a few weeks. Come along, Fullmetal I'm sure your little girlfriend will be pleased to see you."

Ed quickly recovered and stood up.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Ed ranted at him.

"Denial is the first sign!" Roy sang.

"Do you love Lt. Hawkeye?" Ed replied, snidely.

"Of course not!" Roy said flustered.

"Denial is the first sign!" Ed sang, mocking Roy's previous comment.

"Anyway, I hate to interrupt your amusing little back-and-forth there, but your transport is waiting outside and don't worry we got someone to pack you both some clothes and stuff. And Edward your brother is even being treated to the trip too," Bradley smiled.

The three of them left the office, leaving Wrath at the door with a stupid grin on his face while drooling insanely.

"Revenge is very sweet!" Roy called along the corridor.

"HI EVERYONE!" Wrath screeched at them.

"RUN!" Riza screamed at them.

**The End**

* * *

So that's it. I hope you all liked it.

Thanks to my friend who helped inspire me and got me into fanfics in the first place.

I have no notes for this chapter, hopefully it's all pretty self-explanatory.

Please leave a review even if it's tiny and any **constructive** criticism is welcome.

Anyway, I'm starting to repeat myself.

So thanks for reading,

Bye~!

Amy.

P.s. I hope you enjoyed it enough to maybe read my other fanfics that are getting uploaded soon (if I haven't already by the time you've read this).

Bye~!

*sends everyone a cyber cookie for reading this far*


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